30 Days of Me Day 4: A Bad Habit
Thanks for coming back for Day 4 of my 30 Days of Me blog series. I’m doing this series so that my followers can get to know a bit more about me, plus it’s kind of fun to dig into myself a little more. We often forget who are when we become moms or start college or work, or all of the above.
If you’re a blogger joining in and you’d like to take the 30 Days of Me challenge, just make your own 30 Days of Me graphic and write your first post. Make sure you link back to me on Day 1, so others know where you got the challenge, and leave me a comment with your post link so I can follow your journey also!
A Bad Habit I Wish I Didn’t Have
Okay, if you’ve been following me at all, you’ve learned a little bit about me. I try to be a healthy person and pass healthy habits on to my children. I am not perfect though, and I don’t know that I ever will be. None of us will, really. Everyone has a bad habit (or more) that they wish they didn’t have or a habit they wish they never started.
I am going to start out by telling you that this is a sensitive issue. I’m not going to accept negative criticism regarding this habit. I know it is bad and I do have a plan to quit this habit. But I need time and I am working with people to get to a place where I can stop. Please bear with me because this is hard for me to share with people. Especially to share with those who don’t personally know me.
My Bad Habit
I am a smoker. It is honestly probably the worst habit I have. But it is not an easy habit to break. The fact of the matter is, it is an addiction. It closely ties into my anxiety and those are the times when I need them the most. I hate even saying that I need them at times is difficult for me.
Rest assured, I have been working with my counselor and my primary doctor. Soon I will get to a place where I feel comfortable quitting and have the confidence that I will be able to quit.
Let me be clear here though, I do not smoke in my house, I do not smoke near my children, and I never even smoke when I’m walking near them. I am very clear with them that it is a bad habit and that mommy is going to quit. But unfortunately, they are the only thing I have that eases my anxiety when I am having a breakdown.
I expect that some of you will not be okay with this confession of mine and may want to judge me. But I do ask that you keep your negative comments to yourself. And please give me the respect, as a mother, to try and understand where I am coming from. Many people who came from childhoods similar to mine have much worse addictions. And I can only say that I pride myself in the fact that I have overcome the outlook that most children like myself have. I do not (okay I rarely) drink and I do not condone drug-related behavior.
I am not making excuses for myself. But I do hope that you can understand what I am trying to say. If smoking is the worst habit I got from the things I’ve experienced as a child, I’d have to say that I turned out okay.
On a lighter note…
If you choose to continue to join me, tomorrow will be Day 5 of my #30daysofme challenge. I’ll be sharing with you a picture of somewhere I’ve been too, along with a short story. Give ya a hint, it was quite a peaceful trip.